During the depression, as a toddler with an older brother and sister, our mother was divorced. As a young girl, I asked my mother, "where is my father?" and I vividly recall her pointing to a crucifix near her bed, saying, "here is your father, look here for God." I came to know God for a father and had a loving, happy childhood.

Mother remarried when I was eight, and we moved twice; first out west and then to Washington D.C after the 2nd world war. While a sophomore in high school, I discovered a Saturday night dance held in a near by Catholic Church. I soon began going to their Sunday mass. I never recall going to church before! I'm sure it was my "father" leading me there.

After finishing school, we moved to Catonsville and I went to St. Mark's Church where I eventually married my future husband. All in all I was mainly a happy person, yet looking back, there wasn't any fulfilling joy. My husband and I had seven children, rearing six, as one died soon after birth. Another was a Special Needs child, and I found myself talking to my "father" God more with questions than giving Him praises. Though eventually we did praise Him for this gift.

My husband had a good job and financially we were doing well, but his drinking was increasing heavily and I began lapsing into a dark, self centered place. Perhaps I was remembering that my mother had divorced my father because of his alcoholism, where once, in a drunken stupor, he caused our house to catch on fire. Not realizing I was depressed and not seeking outside help, I was caught up in deep despair.

One night before going to bed, I went to the children’s rooms, kissing each soundly sleeping child goodbye. I then went to bed, taking many sleeping pills to escape. Sometime much later I was awakened by a voice coming from the foot of my bed, in the air above the high bed-post I heard, "I am not finished with you yet," in a voice so powerful I knew it must have been my "father" God.

Shortly after this, I met Charlotte Bauer from Chapelgate, who invited me to her Bible study on the book of John. Doing that study led me to realize my need for God's Son, Jesus, the Christ for my life. I made my commitment when I was 41 years old and over time I came to understand true JOY.

I began a daily alone time, reading God's Word, gaining knowledge of why I was more joyfully happy. I gradually understood that the son of God suffered so that I could experience the peace and blessed assurance of knowing God was truly my Father.

Jesus gave me this JOY - Jesus Only You!! I will one day be with Him, seeing Christ Jesus and feeling the brilliant presence of my Father God! Oh, such Joy I simply can't truly comprehend. There would be no JOY without the birth of God's only Son.